The Blue Board

That is funny. I cant imagine marriage without a deistic faith component. I love my wife because of my faith in Christ 90% of the time. I respect to the uttermost folks who stick with their wife their whole lives just because they are loyal, etc. Good stuff.

Marriage is NOT for the faint of heart.

No it's not for the faint of heart. We're Christians, btw. So many people get married b/c they can't imagine being with anyone else at the time. That kind of stuff wears off. You have to work at it. Not 50% each....100% from each of you.

That didn't happen to me, I'm only 28. But it's happened to about every successful guy I have ever known. They all do it. They marry a really hot girl young out of college who gets pregnant and does the housewife thing. Then she gets old and suddenly she's not so interesting to be around anymore (wonder why?). Lots of other people stay together because they have to for financial reasons, but that's another thread. I would bet just about anything that most successful, powerful men with options get divorced. They think, you know, I'm 38, wealthy, and very good at what I do. But I've only got so many good years left before I'm dead or just don't care. How much longer am I going to come home to this BS every night and deal with this woman? How long am I going to have the same arguments? How much longer am I going to turn down all these up and coming whores (their wife 15 years ago, [she needs to be traded in, she has too many miles]) who throw themselves at me every night we grab a drink after work. Did you see her ass? Even if she is a bitc* at least I will be hittin' something worth having. I bet she will appreciate what she has and not expect me to make all this money. Expect a new car every year. Expect all these things and I never get a thank you. F that, time to get the fvck out.

But I'm going to tell you something and I want to you to really listen to it. All that stuff you and your wife talked about in a "what if" scenario was done when you were both happy with each other. You can throw that out the window during a divorce. Go on, throw it right out that window. Throw it out. Her attorney will come at you like a pit bull and she will let him. How many people end their marriage on a good note? One? One person in the history of the world? That might be a little high. Probably none. You say a lot of things when you are happy with each other and make a lot of promises. I hope you stay together, but if you don't, there is a 0% chance what she told you she wanted is what she will take. Prepare your anus bro, she will be going in dry.

I won't get married for awhile. 27 now, and been with my GF for 4 years.

For the most part, I agree with your second chapter. Once it gets ugly, other people get involved and make it a war. Usually because they have a vested interest in the outcome. I don't believe it's ever going to come down to that, but if it does, I'll keep some lube around just in case.

On the first section, and understand me...I'm not criticizing you here. Marriage is not something you enter into because she's hot. It helps get you started when dating, but that will always wear off. Your money should never be the reason for her. It's a true art for a successful man to be able to choose the woman who just wants him. (If I had been older with a lot of equity when I got married, I would have probably done a pre-nup as well...just for insurance) The one thing that I have going for me is that I routinely run like hell when opportunities to cheat present themselves. I'm human, so by the time my zipper is down, I'm gonna eff up. So I never get that far. When I start to even think it's headed towards that, I hit the door. I have a good wife, and I'm not gonna screw it up. I trust her not to. And it's been over 9 years now. People change and &h^t happens, so I'm not going to jinx it by saying never. If you're 28 and divorced, you are naturally going to be pretty hot about the topic, and I don't blame you. I just don't think people analyze the things they really should prior to saying the vows. It's a cultural change over the past few decades. I want to end by saying I'm still not criticizing you. You were young and I know nothing about who is at fault and don't care. If you ever relax a little on the subject of marriage, I hope you meet a really good woman. They're really a blessing when you have the right one.

It sounds like a cliche, but you will know when it is right. I was in your boat awhile back and I am quite happy with my now wife.

I settled down last fall. Turned 25 last March. Normal progression to me. Likely get married in 2014.

I'm 27 and marriage has never entered my mind.Their will be plenty of time to have to answer to some chick in the future.Right now I love being young,wild and free.

Dang man, I misread it too. Thought you were talking about yourself. My bad.

Anyway, we've watched good friends go through this. 1 of the couples actually ended as friends with no fights over money and agreeing to share/co-own the pontoon boat. About a year later, when they were both engaged to different people, is when the fur started to fly. I'm thinking about offering monthly insurance payments to them to use the boat. If they're going to argue over it and pay for it, someone needs to do the right thing and actually use it, and I'm a good friend like that.

I mean, I'm really not sure how that could happen considering I've never been married. I do however, eat dinner with very successful guys at the CC about once a month and they all tell stories about their ex;'s. Them, along with everyone else I know that has options over 35 are saying the same thing. And it's not getting worked up, it's just facts to me.

About 40-50% of people get divorced. So right away that's about a 1 and 2 chance you get divorced. Now, after that, how many people would you say are happy in their marriage? 50% of them? I would argue it's much, much, much lower than that, but for arguments sake, lets say 50% are happy. So now we are up to 75% of people either getting divorced or unhappy in their marriage. How many of the people left of that 25% are making the best of it because they have to? Because they don't have any self confidence and feel if they leave their mate they will be alone? Or how many feel they need to stay together for financial reasons? That they can't afford to make a change and spend 50,000g's + on a divorce? Guys, we're talking less than 25% of people here. Think about that. You either get stuck like the guy in 127 Hours or getting raped like the girl in Irreversible.

Also, look up common law marriages too. Don't let them sneak in the back door gents.