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I just returned from some traveling in San Diego/Los Angeles, and while I had a great trip, I cannot wait until teleporting is invented. Maybe I'm just an a-hole (probably so, amirite), but flying is like, soul-crushing to me. Here are some things I experienced that infuriated me:
1) When people mill around the gate before boarding, trying to be the first in line to board. Inching closer and closer as each zone is called, and then when it's finally their turn, shoving their way to the start of the line like cattle to go into the slaughterhouse.
2) Smelly plane snacks. Who eats not one, not two, but three bags of corn nuts during a flight.
3) FYI douchebag businessman on your Bluetooth, if your carry-on doesn't fit in one of the overheard compartments, it won't fit in any of them. Stop trying every compartment in your vicinity. And don't touch my stuff to try and get yours to fit.
4) I don't care if you were standing up in the aisle before the plane even reached the jet way. I am going to get into the aisle when it's my turn, grab my bag, and make you wait.
Anyway, what are yours? People who complain too much is probably one of them.
Yeah flying blows, I always get drugged up to the max whenever I fly
There is not much I hate more than flying
fsufsu said... I've got about 10 great stories on Lane but all you need to know is he will never be a loser, that's for sure.
Loud kids. I'm not one to hit kids, but good God, some of the little buggers really get on my nerves.
Corn Nuts may be the worst smelling snack ever... I feel for you
Especially a person who eats with their mouth open who is eating corn nuts smacking their lips with every bite
Being on the same flight with terrorist.
Corn nut farts
Does this happen to you often enough that it could be a "pet peeve?"
people who cannot mentally grasp the self check in OR people who cannot move after they have checked in and back up the line OR people who do not go for an open self check in
PENN STATE FOREVER
Only once. The hassle of getting him to give up his window seat pissed me off to know end.
I hate #1, and loud kids. Gotta figure out a way to sedate those who don't behave or something. Also, the armrest devourer is annoying.
Also, and this goes for civilian or military--pooping on the jet. Just don't do it unless it's a flight of more than 10 hours.
1) The dumbass pilots that love to hear themselves talk. The ones who get on the speaker every 5 minutes to update the passengers about.every.thing going on in the cockpit
2) same as one
3) same as one
Steve Spurrier is a God, and Mark Richt worships him
Become a Republican.
Buy a Private Jet
Use Private Jet
When people just jump in front of you exiting the plane. Get your lazy ass up if you want to get off.
Awful parents who don't give their kids benedryl before the plane takes off
“If you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets.” ― Haruki Murakami
When these pet peeves start getting to me, I try to remember what is actually happening. I'm in a 100,000 lbs aluminum balloon that is going pretty close to the speed of sound halfway to outer friggin space. Plus, it takes me 10hrs to get to Paris from Atlanta not 7 days( or however long a boat would take.) Always makes me feel better.
This post was edited by crimsonwolfe 17 months ago
Give em whiskey
Not being able to use laptop/iPad/kindle at start and landing especially when we circle airport..no scientific proof yet they go all crazy about forcing you to turn it off
It's always interesting to see who 'lands' in the seat next to ya..
Almost always seems to be a person who is billowing out of the barriers..
If you don't get the window or aisle seats,
you better be ready to interact w/ chatty kathy!!
Fat people should be forced to buy two seats.
Oh this is soooo in my wheelhouse.
Starts at the security checkpoint. They need a line for rookies only. The idiots that aren't aware that you have to remove you shoes. That you can't carry a machete thru security. That your bottle of water has to go, etc. Then you get to the other side and that is always that dumb f* that doesn't have the sense to grab his shit and move to a table. No he stands there and gets dressed and repacks his suitcase and briefcase while the rest of us wait. MOVE!!!! Moving sidewalks work the same way as a highway. If your fat ass is going to stand there move to the right.
Once on board:
-do NOT bring on smelly food! Fried chicken, burgers, wings whatever you need to eat that shit before you get onto a tube where you are sitting 4" from the people next to you.
-cellphone guy. Hang the f* up already. It can wait. You're in 25D you're not that important.
-talker guy. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I don't want to talk to you. I have on noise canceling headphones for a reason so quit talking to me and if I'm watching a movie on my iPad do not lean over my shoulder and try to see what it is.
-carry on luggage guy. The guy that insists his condo on wheels will fit. Asshole, it's not budging. Check it so we can all be on our way.
-fat people. It's not my fault you lack self discipline. It's not my fault you can't fit into a seat. That's a you problem. If you can't fit into your seat without having your fat arms spilling over into my space either buy 2 seats or drive. I paid for my seat you didn't.
When a short person sitting in front of me has their seat in full recline and I have to sit with my knees jammed into their seat.
I fly almost every week.
For the security check in... ALWAYS... Get behind orientals (that's not racist)... They always move the fastest. Avoid lines with kids and old people.
I am one of the business flyers on my Phone. We pay much more for our seats then you do... If you don't like it, don't listen
It's easy to get the talker next to you to shut up. Ignore him, look disgruntled, do something else.
I rarely see someone who has smelly food. I took 51 flights last year and never saw a corn nut. Every once in awhile I see someone with a Big Mac or some Chinese food, not much you can do about that.
Best advice... Relax, take a nap, read the paper. It's the only time when no one can email me or call me.... Take advantage of that.
This post was edited by tbdbitl 17 months ago
The RANT is a Romper Room for Degenerates - jwe
I always wear lace up boots so I can hold everyone up
Update ... Never get behind kids, old people and auburn fans
All of us wear wing tip boots
I fly 80 segments a year. I'm a business flyer too. Your food I can smell without having to see or. Your phone I can hear because you Trump wannabes won't STFU! Believe me, I love the fact that I'm not reachable on a plane. That's why I want Randy the term life seller to leave me the hell alone on that flight!
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