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King - Please! Please good people! I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Peasant 1 - No one lives there.
K - Then who is your lord?
P1 - We don't have a lord.
K - What?
Peasant 2 - I told you, we're an anarco-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer must be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting; by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs-
K - Be quiet!
P2 - but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more serious-
K - Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
P1 - Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Ha!
K - I am your king!
P1 - Well I didn't vote for you.
www.yohoodent.com ... errybawdee awn ignorle
ha ha ha ha... this, too
My all-time funniest scene [NSFW and the racially sensitive]
It's Already Been Broughten!
Will you let us come in; will you let us explain to you what we want; and will you, for the love of God, put on a fucking shirt?
Thread sucks so far;
Jeremy Grey: John? I need to see you right away. It's important.
John Beckwith: [Walking into Jeremy's office] What's going on?
Jeremy Grey: [sighs] We got three big weeks ahead of us. It's wedding season, kid!
John Beckwith: You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Jeremy Grey: I've got us down for 17 of them already.
John Beckwith: Okay, now how many of them have cash bars?
Jeremy Grey: Great question. I like where your head's at and two of them actually are, but I got us covered: Purple hearts. We won't have to pay for a drink all night.
John Beckwith: Oh, yeah. Perfect.
Jeremy Grey: We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies that get so aroused by the thought of marriage that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.
John Beckwith: And who's gonna be there to catch them?
Jeremy Grey: Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season?
[Jeremy raises his hand]
John Beckwith: Mr. Grey?
Jeremy Grey: Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?
John Beckwith: Bingo! I'm gonna get my suit. Now who are we this time?
I love my dead gay son.
Son of a bitch must pay!
Fat Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life son.
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting
"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a gdamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend"
"Sorry, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
I recommend you stop being such a f@ggot. You're in the backseat"
Hey hey hey .... Watch the leather man ... DAZED & CONFUSED Mathew Mconehey when back seat passengers kicked his seat
''A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.''
Shut the fvck up Donnie
The RANT is a Romper Room for Degenerates - jwe
No more yanky my wanky the Donger needs food.
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.
on twitter @Sir_Roflcopter
Looks like another perfect day.
Peter: Lawrence, does anyone ever tell you at work "looks like someone has a case of the Monday's?"
Lawrence: No.....Nah, man....SHIT nah, man. I believe someone should get their ass kicked for sayin something like that man.
An entire thread and not the best movie line of all time?????
“My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”
Danielle Hunter, Jamario Rasco, Anthony FREAK Johnson.. DL wrecking crew of 2013.
Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!
[Taggart finally finds a pen and paper]
Taggart: Could you repeat that, sir?
Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around...and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
"How do you kill Women and Children?"
"EASY!!, you don't lead em' as much!"
" Like the muthafuckas say now adays, I'm just keepin' it real."
Chaz wants meatloaf from the Wedding Crashers. Ma...the meatloaf!
Claude: He just made a pass at me
Ray: yea i seen that
Claude: why you think they call him jangle leg?
Ray: well i dont know but you gonna find out before i do
Slevin: I'm gonna say the same thing any man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or left.
Lindsey: What's that?
[cuts to Boss's penthouse]
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