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A guy is drinking in a bar. After a few beers, he goes to the bathroom to piss. When he opens the door, he is immediately horrified. He runs to the bartender and says...
"Man, you won't believe it! Inside the bathroom, there is a guy corn-holing another guy, who is then corn-holing a third guy. It is f*cking sick!"
The bartender asks, " The guy in the middle, did he look like a blue whale wearing an Auburn shirt?"
he man says, "Yeah, I guess so."
Bartender says " Yeah, That's Phillip Marshall. He's lucky at cards too."
Phillip Marshall helps me sleep at night.
You got it. I am wondering when we'll get some more good news though. Recently is has been real quite IMO.
University of Alabama: The high mark of college football since 1892
You could exchange that with anyone. It's still f'n hilarious
Well this thread blew up...
With mods deleting anything outside of it then what did you expect?
That was great
A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says,
"What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back
the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy
says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space
exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The
robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini".
Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk
about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will
try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What
will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him
another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy
says, "Uh, about 50."
The robot leans in real close and says, "Roll Tide..."
In a world divided by those who are Auburn men and those who explicitly are not, I am granted serenity knowing that we are so blessed to have a quintessential Auburn man like Phillip to delineate who's who.
Alright....that was funny lol. +1
He leaves no doubt in our minds.
Why are rectal thermometers banned at Auburn University?
They cause too much brain damage.
How do you break an Auburn guy's finger?
Punch him in the nose.
Why did the Auburn student marry the cow?
He had to.
How can you tell when there's been an Auburn student in your backyard?
The garbage is gone and your dog's pregnant.
What is the definition of safe sex down at Auburn?
Placing a sign on the animals that kick...
How do you castrate an Auburn football player?
You hit his sister in the jaw.
How do you compliment an Auburn fan?
How can you tell your getting close to Auburn?
If you stop to take a piss the cows will back up to the fence.
What is the definition of an Auburn virgin?
An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers.
Pretty predictable punchline, but would be funny in another thread.
How about this....
Why does Chick have that no other coach ever had?
More titles than teeth
Ahh. I read the post before yours then yours. Go back and do the same. You'll see what conclusion I reached
an Al. grad, a Georgia grad and an Au grad decided to take a trip together after graduation as they were childhood friends. As they were traveling thru the country they had car trouble and it was getting close to dark, so they decided to go up to the farm house to see if they could stay over until morning. The old farmer said ok but that he only had one bed so one of them would have to sleep in the barn. The AU grad said he would be glad to go to the barn as he was a graduate of what was sometimes referred to as the "cow college". They all bedded down and shortly there was a rap on the door, the farmer went to the door and there stood the AU grad. He said, "it's that cow and pig, I can't stand it anymore." Hearing that the GA grad volunteered to go to the barn. They all bedded back down and shortly there was another rap at the door. The farmer answered the door and there stood the GA grad and he said, "it's that cow and pig, I can't stand it anymore. The Al grad heard this and remarked that he was from a law school but that he would go to the barn for the remainder of the night. Thay all bedded back down for the third time and after a while there was the worst banging and kicking on the door that you have ever heard. The farmer got up and went to the door and there stood the cow and pig.
I assumed as much, but I wanted to take the opportunity anyway to elaborate on my thoughts.
Little Johnnys' teacher wanted to know what all the students fathers did for a living. She started with Lisa. "Lisa what does your dad do for a living?", Lisa replied "my dads a Paramedic". Next was Katie, "Katie, what does your dad do for a living?", Katie said my daddy is a doctor. All around the room she went. She finally got to Little Johnny and she asked "Johnny, what does your dad do for a living?"... little Johnny replied "my dads a male stripper in a gay night club." The teacher in complete shock, hurried to the next student to draw the attention away from Little Johnnys' response. After class, she asked Johnny to stay after and she asked him "Johnny is your father really a male stripper in a gay night club?" Little Johnny hung his head and said "no ma'am, I just didn't want all my friends to know he's a coach at Auburn."
I crow barred those in with a comment, so I'll repost...
What did Chizik have that no other coach does? More rings than teeth
The best college football player in the last decade..... I agree
Tim Tebow says he's a bitch
Tebow couldn't wipe cams ass
Billy slap this foo upside the head for me
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