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Im sitting on the toilet pooping, and trying to figure out how to talk my wife into butt sex. Been trying for years and hasn't paid off. Any ideas?
Try the Judge Smails approach:
figure out something worse... ask for that, then downgrade to the butt sex for a settlement.
Won't happen. If she has not done it in years past she will not do it now.
3 time POTW, member since 2006, MLWTI: 4-3
Just emotionally abuse her for a while with subtle digs at her weight and appearance. Eventually you will wear her down
Not guilty y'all got to feel me
Better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission.
This^^ She has to be the one to want it. If not, it aint happening. Very over rated imo.
I wonder how many of the ones that said something other than no she won't is married?
Good point. Probably all of them.
You gotta go for that shit from jump street. Waiting until after your married, you got no chance bro
I've been asking my wife from day one. Keep getting same answer. It ain't happening.
you mean "dump street" ? [drumroll]
Put her near the edge of the bed with her feet right on the edge, you're on your knees on the floor. Go down and get her off real good and never leave the clit alone(sidenote: ever watch shark week? Ya know how they just touch the sharks nose and they go limp? Amazing! It's like "sure you can ram a spear through my fin to tag me"...it's honestly the best analogy I can think of but it kinda works none the less.) From there:lube index finger and then rim it, then full finger, relube 2 then rim and finger( I should mention to leave some room on the end of the bed to rest your elbows bc this is going to take a long time) by then she either realizes it's not the worst thing in the world, i mean technically it's a much easier orgasm, and if all else fails that night she'll keep it in the back of her mind for a bday or something knowing it's possible.
Me & my lady aren't married, but have been together for 4 years (5 in feb). Anyway about a year & a half in we made a list of things we haven't done. That was at the top of both of our lists, she was down, I was down & it went down. She hated it & I wasn't really impressed. We have not spoken of it since.
My first attempt was my senior year in HS with a girl I ended up dating for 2 years(go figure). It was a rash, mid sex decision and we thought that condoms were sufficiently lubed enough and that I could just put it in...doesn't work like that. Hurt her and honestly hurt my dick to the point we didn't finish sex. We later learned to do it right, both loved it.
Have done with gf's in the past but my wife has never wanted to do it. I ask often but still same answer.
"I ask often" lol
It's way easier to start with a finger. Way more likely to happen. Once she realizes she likes it, you're golden. I don't get it anymore, cause I went retard while we were drunk and thought it would be funny if I peed in her butt. It was funny, but she didn't get it.
"Never leave the clit alone"
That's most men's biggest mistake.
We aren't like men, the anticipation of that attention is more of a turn on than direct contact.
Carry on though, I'm sure all the wives are more than satisfied by you Greek gods and your masterful sexual technique.
OP: Give it up, she isn't into it. Respect her wishes and stop begging like a dog at the dinner table.
Men are talking here sweetheart...why dont you go grab us some pretzels?
You are the best woman on any message board ever.
Your arms and legs work just fine. Try again.
Slip it in while she's asleep. Maybe she won't wake up. If she does wake up, say she had an air leak and you were just plugging it up.
Sweetheart, your husband will be taking your computer away now.
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