The Blue Board

Who are they?

Do you know some of the insights about them in their real life and who they really are?

Aussie- He goes by Aussie, but he is really just embarrassed that he is actually a South African.

NoVa- He is really Jeff Bowden, trolling the FSU fanbase, offensive line, and of course Trickett.

Devidee- He is 47 years old, a former classmate and high school bully of Danny Sheridan, and he lives with his mom. The most shocking thing might actually be that he is Einstein's step father. Paul Finebaum is his hero.

Lesticals- An elite pitcher and also the owner of the future LSU 247 site.....still holding out for more money.

Scooter- A disgruntled, but accepting catcher. Star of the new youtube video while passed out at a Krystal's in New Orleans.

TIGER- He is Jimmy Rane's, the owner of YellaWood's son.

BamaShack- His alter ego goes by the name "Legend"

BillyEN4C- Produces moonshine in the foothills of the Appalachains in Northeast Alabama. Ironically, he lives in a dry county.

Kitemac- JLee's brother. Even he is embarrassed of him.

greensooner- He is actually one of state of Oklahoma's favorite sons, Phil McGraw. He went to Tulsa on a football scholarship, but after a career ending injury, he turn to psychology. After getting his Master's at OU, you may know him better today as Dr. Phil.

buttesnake- I don't know anything about him personally, but we have been staring at his picture ever since "The Game" on all the tOSU poster's sigs.

Ichabod- I am just taking a guess here, but with that language and anyone that drinks like him from Alabama, I am guessing he is a relative of Hank Williams. I somewhat expect to see him and Scooter streaking down Bourbon St on January 8th at some point in the evening.

Tusks- A prophet, a scholar, and a gentleman.

Me- I used to be a FSU fan, but was kicked out of the club when I refused to add "Nole" to my username.

ZFM- Someone that I admit that I do not know very well, but by looking over and over at his username, I have a feeling that he could do wonders with sock puppets.

TAMUWolverine- I haven't met him, but I think I have seen him. He is either this guy in Detroit that I remember that was walking around with a cowboy hat and a 2 foot belt buckle or he is a guy that lives next door to one of by buddies in Houston that always wears socks with his sandals.

Under Review- Not sure exactly what he does, but I do know that he is married to Nancy Pelosi.

Barton S- Not trying to get banned here or anything and I really have nothing to say about him, but I will say that I thought his picture in his avatar was a girl for a long time. Full disclosure: The screen in my office is not set for optimal performance.

theFightingTide- He is the bass player for the Wayne Mills Band.

Hillsborough- You know the rumor about Daniel Tosh being bisexual? Enough said.

Hskr4Life23- Have you ever known a Nebraska guy to really know his basketball? Not being racist or anything, but he is my vote for "The person on this board I am most certain of being black." Now that I have said that, I will add a statement that I hate hearing from others just to show my Alabamaness (although I am technically from California): My best friend is black. He actually was the best man in my wedding and I have pictures that prove I am not racist. (g)

star69- I am convinced this is Skip Holtz. Not sure why....just a hunch.

TWright- Terry Bowden......oh congrats on the Akron job!

Longhorn in OK- He is a semi cutter. You know a cutter is someone that hurts themselves for attention and hates themself at the same time. He hates himself enough to be a Longhorn fan even though he is from Oklahoma, but he doesn't hate himself enough to be a Cowpoke.

CptAUmerica21- His wife left him for Charles Barkley. He wasn't overly pissed, but he did slap her one good time for it not being Bo instead.

Hot Sauce- He is.........to be honest, he confuses himself so much that I can not even begin to go anywhere with this one. Congrats on Post of the Year!!

Einstein- I know I mentioned earlier that Devidee is his step father, and I while I still know this to be true, there is some relation to Brett Favre there as well. You know, one day he's retiring from tBB, the next day he's back, then he's gone, then he's back.

roll_tide_55- I know the Bama and Auburn guys will get this one, but have anyone else ever seen the guys that used to go to every Bama game in ties and suspenders, with the big Tide detergent boxes, with a roll of toilet paper above and below them (actually very nice guys and one of them has passed)? This guy went as them for Halloween..........9 years in a row.

SimplyComplex- He's Little Squirt from Baseketball. Can anyone say "Steve Perry?" 5'8", 17 years old and tough as sheepskin (oops! Didn't mean to turn on Harry Callahan with the sheepskin reference)

Rivver- I picture him as some friends of mine from Austin that I used to hang out with after hours. They didn't know that in the deep South, if you smoke it, it's basically crack. I ran into one of them at the BCSCG in Pasadena a couple of years back and he had already put out a chair and umbrella in a greenside bunker in the parking area at the Rose Bowl.

MarineMountie- I don't know about you guys but I doubt he was both a Marine and a Mountie. I like to picture him as a Mountie that fell in love with WVU football because RichRod's teams reminded him of Canadian football.

Clemson- He's the guy that has all the porn. When you went to college he had a trunk full of it. It was cool at first as you had never seen so much plugging away in your life. Then you soon realized he chose his porn based on the male actors.

BornToBeRed- He is as thug as they come, except for the fact that underneath he is a skinny pasty white Jewish kid. You should see the bling on his Menorah though.

Irishyoung420- He's very religious. He grew up a good Catholic boy and showed great dedication to the good word. He was so dedicated to his faith that he became a Rastafarian is his college days thanks to his sidework at $300 an ounce. Now he is off the dope and is just a plain alcoholic.......oh and he has gone back to the Catholic church as well.

getmyjive11- Grew up poor in Central Pennsylvania. Paid for college at Penn St with the money his dad made in allowing the movie "Kingpin" to be filmed in their Amish Village.

Lucky- He is Jerry Garcia. Who else could have a following in the tens of thousands if not more, without the use of mainstream media or hardly any advertisement.

JC Shurrbert- I compare him to Charlie Weis. Not for being a 400lb man sitting on a 80qt cooler (although I'm not saying he's not either), but for schematic advantage he brings.

Bill King- I know he is not a poster, but he is the 247 Sirius/XM guy. No doubt he is really Don King. Dude will push anything. Is your mom selling homemade apple pies? Give him $50 and he will push the hell out of them on the radio.

sf2k4- He is a tech geek by day working at Gamestop and a DJing hipster by
night at Nana Funks in Birmingham.

LOS NOLES- Bert Reynolds wasn't the only FSU alum in "Boogie Nights". He was accompanied by LOS NOLES. He was the foul mouthed bisexual Hispanic guy that I can only imagined was hired for his fluffing abilities.

Theta Sigma- I was in a fraternity at Bama and I don't remember Theta Sigma at all, so I am guessing this is they guy that founded the new Nursing fraternity. And we we thought the Engineering fraternity, Theta Tau was ghey.

ScoutExile- His name explains it. He was exiled from the Boy Scouts. No, not for child molesting or anything like that, but for having a sex change. He is actually a Girl Scout and former record holder for cookies sold in one year.

c_woodson- He is not fooling anyone. He wants you to think that he is one of the great defensive backs in the history of the game, but he is actually Neiko Thorpe.

Pstrjohn- As a man of the cloth and assistant to Pastor Cecil Newton, he has done some wonderful work for others. He recently finished overseeing the completion of a new Children's Center in Haiti, costing $180,000.

Weedline- He is a professional fisherman and hated rival of Bill Nance, the guy that wears the Tennessee hat on that fishing show in TV. Weedline was actually suspended from Outdoor Life Network about 10 years ago after the fat Tennessee fisher turned him in for violations. Weedline has gotten the last laugh as Nance's show has been downright awful for the last 4 or 5 years.

Hawkifish- From a small town Iowa, Hawkfish was one of the greatest high school wrestlers that the state had ever seen. In his senior year, in the finals of the state wrestling, he was heavily favored. There was only one problem. He was disqualified for popping a boner while positioned behind his opponent. The worst part though is what happened when his opponent gave him a pat on his butt to offer consolation. I am not going into too much details, but is you guessed that a corncob and butter was involved, who would be on the right path.

FREE KOBE- Well, when this poster, better known as Lamar Odom, picked his name, he was knew that his career and hopes were nothing without Kobe. Now he would like to change the FREE to another four-letter word still starting with the letter 'F'.

Cuthbert xxii- A descendant of the 7th Century monk, Saint Cuthbert and also a relative of former "24" actress, Elisha Cuthbert, he has not quite lived up to their success. Unless of course you measure success by the quality of one's posts in a sport message board's gaming thread.

shavismo2- He is the all time leader in scoring, steals, assists, rebounds, FG%, FT%, 3pt%, and blocks as a player, including being the all time leader in career wins as a coach for the Penn State University basketball program. I know......I have never heard of him either.

Gfortress5- He was wanted by the age of 15 by the Secret Service for making counterfeit money. Wanted by the FBI at age 17 for his work in forging ID's and then again at 19 for his collection of Drano bombs. He swore the Drano bombs were just to put craters in the yard of a neighboring fraternity house, but he was still shipped off the Guantanamo Bay for some cockmeat sandwiches. He has since been released and is serving as a doctor for a division of Army Rangers still stationed in Afghanistan. Best of the best my ass.

alonzo- What else do you need to know other than that he is everyone's new favorite poster? He has a mixture of Hemingway and Les Miles and words flow from his lips like the sounds of a singing canary. Watch out Kanye, you have company.

BTnole- He is a closet Gator fan with a Tebow tatoo on his right buttcheek. Over his bed, he has an Erin Andrews and Percy Harvin fathead. Curiously, the Harvin one glows in the dark.

PTCcock195- Turnons include, long walks on the beach while discussing posts by Clemson and having cocaine snorted from his body. NOTE: His brother made headlines last week in South Carolina.

brandon21mc- Such a dovoted Bama youngster. For Christmas, he got some artwork done on his arms to match the tatoos of Trent Richardson. That will go nicely along with chest that is tatooed to match AJ McCarron's.

ilovelamp51- He is the grandson of renowned late American painter and children's art show host, Bob Ross. As a caring softie and supporter of the ACLU, he just completed a 69 mile long charity walk through a steaming swamp in support of women's rights.

roltiderol- He is employed at the University of Alabama as the Director of Oversigning Operations. He is in charge of leaking just enough injury information during the offseason so that Bama can get enough medical hardships needed for the next season's recruiting class, finding loopholes in the rules, and making sure that grades don't come through on the recruit of Saban's choice that may not truly be needed for that year. Urban called him with an offer last week, but Alabama matched his offer.

GONIG BUCK- She is married to the guy I saw in Detroit with a cowboy hat and 2-foot belt buckle (see: TAMUWolverine).

Mr Perfect- You may think that Gus Malzhan left Auburn because of difficulites with Chizik or maybe just to be able to have full rein of his offense at Arkansas St. The true reason was because Mr Perfect was giving Kristi the reverse pink eye. Maybe that's why she seemed so jumpy in the video. By the way, his favorite group is the West Texas Rednecks.

PSUfan28- You may remember him as the kid that ran on the field at the Phillies game and got hit with a stun gun in left center field. His next challenge will be having to sit through a Pittsburgh Pirates game without having to be tazed.

ejb5212- A true movie buff. He lists his favorite movies as Freddy Got Fingered, Battlefield Earth, From Justin to Kelly, and Gigli. He is also the person that suggested to George Lucas that his trilogy, Star Wars, didn't quite seem finished.

georgia boy- We have some news to break with this one. Georgia boy, or as he is known by the Macon chapter of LAIRE (Live Action Interactive Role-playing Explorers), Prince Augustus will be leading his troops into battle for the newly vacated Crown left behind by former UGA Athletic Director, Damon Evans, who was finally let go for embarrassing the Role-playing Explorers. It wasn't for the DUI or solicitation, but for losing his virginity.

thejumper5- He was recently disqualified from a recent family Halloween contest when he showed up dressed as Gene Simmons, from KISS. He was confused and thought he was playing Ozzy Osbourne and went around licking a bat's ass on stage during the voting.

mpcoan- How do you know that he is from South Carolina? 3 reasons. 1) He lost his virginity in a chicken coup. 2) His best friend is actually named Cooter. 3) His girlfriend has a pair of shorts that she got at Spring Break in Myrtle Beach that has "A Cheap Good Time" airbrushed across the ass.

duvalnole- He was a shy kids growing up. Then, NoVa took him under his wing and turned him into the 40-wheeling redneck Riviera gangsta that we all know today. Don't get caught on his stretch of 30A pimpin' his goods, cause when he gets off the golf course, you'll get a 9-iron in your 5-hole.

johnaustin- He grew up in a family with a long line of Clemson grads that had turned their education into lives as carnie folk and carnival clowns. He decided that wasn't good enough for him. He couldn't get into Furman, so he settled for South Carolina.

theFightingtide- I met him at the NCAA Football 2012 release last summer at GameStop. Yes, I was the old loser surrounded by college kids. He was the guy that was bragging about how he only had given up 13 points through 27 seasons of his Dynasty in the 2011 game. I thought for sure after he bought his game that he was getting in the car with his girlfriend that must have been waiting in the car.......but to my shock, he was cruising a Vespa.

Murrdawg69- As a rule, I tend to question people that have "dawg" and "69" next to each other in their name. I could go on and on with more, but I won't as I am still waiting for a care package with some Buckeyes and Skyline Chili to be sent any day now.

Shoeless7777- You have to admire his loyalty. Loves his Braves and his Vols. He may not be the best of luck though. He is a Bills, Wizzards, Golden State, Earnhardt Jr, and yes, he is still even loyal to the Hartford Whalers.

iH8everyone!!- He busted on the scene like no other. His credentials run deep. In 2010, he broke Silky Johnson's run of 9 consecutive "Hater of the Year" Awards at the Playhater's Ball.

FSULaura- Word is there's a youtube clip of her out acting act some wild fantasies with a tree on YouTube.

FL Buckeye- He was at the same festival as FSULaura. He was the guy that yeld towards the end of the clip, "Get her to show her tits!" First of all, this is a classic no no. Everyone should know that when following someone lost in acidland, as I like to call it, you have to allow them to go where they want to go. It's like a wild beast. If you spooke them, you can ruin the fun. To his defense, he was just excited. His Buckeyes in the Final 4 and the chick effing the tree all in the same day!!

HarryBerry- I used to think, he was a great Michigan fan. Seemed smart and a great poster. Then I turned on the sigs one day and saw that he was also an Auburn fan. Then the obsession with Dumb and Dumber seemed to make sense. I forgive the confussion though. I mean, his pet's heads are falling off.

RATT- I believe he told a little bit about his age and experience in the "Fvck, Marry, or Kill" thread. Once he's been married for a while, he will begin to realize that all three is definitely a viable option.

El Stacheo- New name, but still the same old guy that got teabagged at Krystal's.

deltadawg82- Have to admire him a little bit. He is certainly scrappy. It's been hard to keep all of his sig bets together for the 2nd week of the season. I guess after September 8th, we will know if he is more like Rocky or the guy from BASEketball known as Squeak. Regardless, he sure helped us all pass the time for a few days a few weeks before the season.

weGO- Recently kicked out of the nWo for activities unwelcomed by membership. He was at his local karaoke bar and was spotted singing a Sir-Mix-a-Lot song. No big deal right? Well, the problem was that the song was "Square-Dance Rap." edit: As of this morning, Capt AUmerica has reinstated his membership awaiting a formal trial on the BG, but since tBB is now everything AU, I am sure, there will be a LIVE thread on it Tuesday as well.

ScarletnCream- He twilights as a lead singer in a "rainbow bar only" band that is a spoof on Conor Obert's (from Bright Eyes) previous band Commander Venus, named Commander Anus. Their featured number which is their finale, which is a dance number featuring Eric Crouch on keys to the song "Music Me All Over." The dance number features ScarletnCream dressed as Lawrence Phillips and a few Nebraska co-eds getting something'd All Over.

STOOBIE- Originally when Southpark was coming up with the Chuck Norris skit, they wanted to use STOOBIE, but they were too scared to ask him for his likeness.

birdus_maximus- 2012 POTY. Only negative, you get the trophy that God only knows where Scooter has stuck it.

shalvoy- Have you seen shalvoy's booty? Check our recent "Sig of the Year" winner's sig and there it is!

WillieMuffcramp- The men of Miami Beach have fish hooks in their nipples. At least they walk that way. Connected by invisible wire to invisible para-sails far out front, they are pulled down the street chest-first. Bared, bronzed and ballsy, they are as over-pumped as their women are svelte. I can only assume that this is how McStudly ended up with a muffcramp.

Dutch2- Was the first reported case of Grundy's Revenge in Athens, GA. What is Grundy's Revenge? I am glad you asked. It is a Sexually Transmitted Disease (also known as the Douglas). It is some times called the most annoying of all the STDs. It shares a few of the same symptoms as other STDs like Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. As a result it is sometimes misdiagnosed. The use of contraceptives such as male and female condoms will not stop the transmission of GR from one person to another. It is easily cured with antibiotics taken orally and via suppository. It is said that it can be spread by sharing mopeds on college campuses.

BamaLiveFootba- If you are old enough to remember the show "Family Ties", the character Alex Keaton may be familiar to you. BLF was once a mirror image of Keaton (played by Michael J. Fox). He grew up a strict conservative. He was the president of his high school's Future Business Leaders Association and had posters on the wall in his bedroom of his idols, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, William F. Buckley Jr, and of course his favorite politician at that point, Dan Quayle. This all changed once he began attending the University of Alabama. Scorned by the Machine (some may not get this) in his attempt to run for SGA office, he fell into a different crowd. He found himself that summer at Bonnaroo with a heady chick with armpit hair. After one trip through the campsite, the 2 of them had acquired 2 10 strips, an 8 ball, 2 ounces of the sticky icky, and also managed to register to vote in 13 different states. His views on life were changed forever.

butchismyhomie- OK. I'm definitely saying this is Shoeless. He finally snapped. You knew it had to happen eventually.