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FYI Auburn

  • I like jumping in the shower or bath or whatever and getting everything real slick and taking a naked deuce.

    BetterOff

  • Thought I would add some variety to the discussion..in case you haven't seen this before....hilarious

    The Different Types Of Poop

    Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.
    Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

    Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

    Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.

    Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

    Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

    Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

    King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.

    Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

    Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

    Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

    Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

    Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

    Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

    Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

    The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

    The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

    The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

    The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

    The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

    The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

    The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

    Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

    The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

    The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

    Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

    The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

    Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

    The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

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    pstrjohn

  • BetterOff said...

    ...getting everything real slick and taking a naked deuce.

    If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that one...

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    "Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself." -Coach Bryant

    bcal16

  • bcal16 said...

    If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard that one...

    I'd have one dollar.

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    kitemac

  • kitemac said...

    I've had friends that do that but no I don't do that. Kind of odd to be honest. So how are you surviving your drinking binge on the break? I'm not doing so well. I've got 13 days left and I may end up either in jail, in the hospital, or dead by the end of it. Already been close with the three in a week.

    Kidneys are hurting. But I told them to suck it up. It's kind of boring around town right now with rush workshops and rush about to start.

    But really, next deuce you drop, take your shirt off. Extremely relaxing

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    Ichabod

  • Ichabod said...

    Kidneys are hurting. But I told them to suck it up. It's kind of boring around town right now with rush workshops and rush about to start.

    But really, next deuce you drop, take your shirt off. Extremely relaxing

    Honestly I'm a quick pooper. I get in do my business and get out. I don't waste much time.

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    kitemac

  • kitemac said...

    Honestly I'm a quick pooper. I get in do my business and get out. I don't waste much time.

    Dude you gotta enjoy your time.

    Toilet time = man time

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    Ichabod

  • rolBAMAballs said...

    if im at home the shirt is coming off, period. if nobody is home, the door is open and i may just get completely naked

    I always poop with the door open. Gotta share my awesome smells

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    Ichabod

  • Pichelmayer said...

    auburn paid robinson, a 4* rb, and yet auburn didnt get goldman or darby? y not just pay those guys too?

    Stay on topic

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    Ichabod

  • Ichabod said...

    Stay on topic

    yeah. i posted b4 i read the comments above. poop

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    Pichelmayer

  • Ichabod said...

    Dude you gotta enjoy your time.

    Toilet time = man time

    Man time is all the time considering I'm single. I'm allowed to not cuddle and sleep over crap. Man time is when I want it to be.

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    kitemac

  • Pichelmayer said...

    yeah. i posted b4 i read the comments above. poop

    No worries I will delete it. Please try and stay on topic next time though.

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    kitemac

  • kitemac said...

    Man time is all the time considering I'm single. I'm allowed to not cuddle and sleep over crap. Man time is when I want it to be.

    Toilet time is the ultimate man time

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    Ichabod

  • Ichabod said...

    Toilet time is the ultimate man time

    I do take my time more when i'm in a relationship though. So I here you. I just don't spend much time in there unless I'm either in a relationship and she's at my place or I'm at work.

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    kitemac

  • BetterOff said...

    I like jumping in the shower or bath or whatever and getting everything real slick and taking a naked deuce.

    Don't get in the shower, but I do like to deuce it sauna style and get a nice hot steam going.

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    I Believe Auburn and Love IT...4 Life! You should prepare yourself to live with the consequences of your decisions, whatever they may be.

    AuburnInOrlando

  • Took your advice. Right now I'm deucing with door open and naked.

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    kitemac

  • Ichabod said...

    Kidneys are hurting. But I told them to suck it up. It's kind of boring around town right now with rush workshops and rush about to start.

    But really, next deuce you drop, take your shirt off. Extremely relaxing

    I was reading this while taking a deuce with my shirt on. Took it off mid-poop, and I feel like a new man.

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    Huddles are for rookies.

    mizAU

  • kitemac said...

    Took your advice. Right now I'm deucing with door open and naked.

    Are you at work?

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    pstrjohn

  • pstrjohn said...

    Are you at work?

    Haha no I'm at home. I have to travel to B'ham in a little bit.

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    kitemac

  • kitemac said...

    Haha no I'm at home. I have to travel to B'ham in a little bit.

    Real men do it in public.....

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    Ichabod

  • Ichabod said...

    Real men do it in public.....

    So does my 7 year old. lol

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    pstrjohn

  • AuburnInOrlando said...

    Don't get in the shower, but I do like to deuce it sauna style and get a nice hot steam going.

    That's good for the smell as well. Nothing like leaving the bathroom door shut with no exhaust fan on and then going back in 5 or 10 minutes later and reeping the benefits of your work.

    BetterOff

  • pstrjohn said...

    So does my 7 year old. lol

    See he's a real man. At 7.

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    Ichabod

  • Ichabod said...

    See he's a real man. At 7.

    That's what I am saying. flex

    Me, I wait til I am crowning, them boom and I am done. I would be done before the shirt could come off. Does this mean I am not a real man facepalm_msu

    This post was edited by pstrjohn on 8/9/2012 at 12:31 PM

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    pstrjohn

  • rolBAMAballs said...

    can you just imagine accidentally walking in on someone in a public ass bathroom and they are sitting there on the toilet naked with their clothes on the floor

    awkward

    I look up from my iPhone and ask them if there is anything I can do for them

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    Ichabod