Copy for USC O-line Positing Opening

Copy for USC O-line Positing Opening

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  • In case you're wondering why the latest hire was, at best, underwhelming....

    Wanted: Offensive Line coach for once prestigious university. Must be able to take direction from inexperienced head coach whose offensive scheme doesn't know how to run the ball. Must demonstrate the ability to interpret contradictory directives and instructions while working in a dysfunctional environment. Must bring his (or her!) own medicine ball for workouts. Knowledge of how to make new friends and pack one's bags quickly are both essential, as job is likely to last only one season. The ability to kiss a** is essential to the job, especially in praising the university president or head coach. The ability to speak in tongues or, at the very least, to babble incoherently about "warriors" is desirable. The ownership of a complete Haz-Mat gear set is preferred, as you will be working in one of the hot spots of the pandemic; as is the ability to work on an ice-cream truck and play children's games with players. Salary: commensurate with any directional university in the Midwest.

    Any questions??

  • Discussion
  • Love it

  • PaulDrakeLives said... (original post)In case you're wondering why the latest hire was, at best, underwhelming....Wanted: Offensive Line coach for once prestigious university...

  • He had the 59th rated O line and has prior ties to Harrell ? Unless he’s a great recruiter, I don’t see anything to be excited about.

    Are they even going to try running the ball until we get a new head coach ?

  • shryder83 said... (original post)He had the 59th rated O line and has prior ties to Harrell ? Unless he’s a great recruiter, I don’t see anything to be excited about.Are they even ...

    We used to be the pinnacle of coaching AND player destinations. Now we're a safety school.

  • I’m in the Midwest but it seems like the AD is keeping Helton which is unimaginable to me.

    It also seems like he’s try to lay a foundation to improve recruiting. I’m not giving Helton credit because if he was that smart, he would have done it 2-3 years ago.

    In the end, you still have a head coach who doesn’t have his team practice or play hard. You still don’t have a physical o line and you throw the ball 55 times a game.

    I am looking for positives and there may be a few.... but they will go into another year with most of the same weaknesses they’ve had since Helton took over.

  • PaulDrakeLives said... (original post)In case you're wondering why the latest hire was, at best, underwhelming....Wanted: Offensive Line coach for once prestigious university...

    Awesome! Haha!

  • shryder83 said... (original post)I’m in the Midwest but it seems like the AD is keeping Helton which is unimaginable to me. It also seems like he’s try to lay a foundation to impr...

    this is so depressing.

    Helton and Bohner have completely sapped the energy out of me in terms of cheering for our team to the point I have missed games over the years. There was a time where I never missed a game from 2003 to 2016 or so. Still a Trojan but man.

    This post was edited by hparas 8 days ago